Q: I am so ashamed! My wife keeps complaining. I get in the mood for sex, yet I don’t get hard enough to be able to do anything! It’s so frustrating. Please, doctor, help me! [Edited]

A: I understand what you are going through. Sorry.

First, talk to you wife. Reassure her of your love, so she doesn’t feel you don’t “want” her or no longer find her attractive.

Secondly, your problem is either from your body (physical) or your mind (psychological). You may need the services of a doctor or sex-therapist to help you identify the cause of the erectile dysfunction, and treat appropriately.

For most young people, it’s purely psychological. In fact, anxiety, nervousness, and fear of not able to have a strong erection IS a big cause of weak erection! Past failures cause future failures. Work-stress, relationship problems, marital conflicts, financial challenges, unemployment wahala, and, in fact, any emotional problem affect erection and sex-performance.

Low amount of blood, obesity, diabetes, hypertension, cigarette-smoking, alcoholism, certain medical drugs, accidents, and many other physical factors could also be the cause. And, I repeat, cigarette-smoking!

See your doctor, physically. You will be asked certain questions, sent to do some tests, and solutions would be given.

Meanwhile, don’t worry… you are still the MAN—the oga at the top!


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Dr. ‘Malik Haruna King is a practicing Nigerian Medical Doctor and Sex Therapist. He helps people with sensitive health issues find answers to questions they are too ashamed to ask!